Best Man, Maid of Honor and Entourage Duties: Who Does What

Filling the entourage list is the easy part. The harder part comes a week before the wedding, when twenty-odd people ask what they are supposed to do, what to bring and when to show up. This guide starts with the two roles people ask about most, the best man and the maid of honor, then covers every other role, what you have to hand each person, and what only your parish can confirm.

If you are still deciding who goes where, our guide to entourage roles covers what each group traditionally means. This one is about the work.

Best man and maid of honor, side by side

The sources are Kasal.com's best man page (K), Nuptials.ph's entourage guide (N) and maid of honor guide (NM), and Bride and Breakfast's maid of honor list (BM) and processional guide (BP). "Not covered" means none of them says.

When	Best man	Maid of honor
Who picks	The groom; usually his best friend or closest brother (N)	The bride; sisters and best friends are the obvious choice (NM)
Support	Moral support to the groom (K)	Confidante through the stress (NM, BM)
Attire	Goes with the groom to pick his barong or tuxedo (K)	Helps choose the bride's gown and the bridesmaids' gowns (N, NM)
Planning	Leads the groomsmen (K)	Second opinion on decisions; leads the bridesmaids and relays information (BM, NM)
Pre-wedding party	Organizes the bachelor party (K); N says these are uncommon here	May host the bridal shower (NM); N says showers are not a major practice here
Rehearsal dinner	Emcees it, if there is one (K)	Not covered
Wedding morning	Accompanies the groom to breakfast or lunch and makes sure he eats (K)	Assists the bride through preparations (N)
Ushering	Helps usher guests in (K)	Not covered
Rings	Keeps the real rings for safekeeping (N, K)	Holds the bouquet and the groom's band at the pre-vows (BM); carries the train (NM)
Aisle	Escorts the maid of honor down the aisle (K)	Enters just before the bride (BP)
Signing	Assists in the signing of the marriage contract (K)	Not covered
Kit	Brings a pen and an extra handkerchief (K)	Not covered
Reception	A short toast to the newlyweds (K); has a speech ready (N)	Usually speaks after the best man (NM)
After	Helps pack for the honeymoon; may drive the couple to the airport (K)	Not covered

Two rows need care. The rings appear with both roles, so decide before the rehearsal who holds what. The escort line is Kasal.com's; its own processional list puts the best man first and the maid of honor near the end, and its recessional pairs them, so treat it as a recessional job and ask your coordinator.

If the maid of honor is married she is a matron of honor, and Nuptials.ph says a man can serve as Man of Honor. The same site describes a Best Woman standing in for a best man. Bride and Breakfast's reception order says the best man and maid of honor are usually duty bound to give a speech. Our best man speech and maid of honor speech guides cover both, and the bachelor party guide covers the party.

Duties for every role, and when they happen

Unless marked otherwise, the tasks below are as described in Nuptials.ph's entourage guide (N) or Bride and Breakfast (B&B). Where neither says, your parish and coordinator decide.

Role	When	What they do
Parents of the Groom / Parents of the Bride	Processional	Are escorted down the aisle by the groomsmen (N). Seating and any later part are set by your parish and coordinator
Principal Sponsors	Ceremony; signing	Stand as witnesses. "You need at least two principal sponsors to sign your marriage contract" (N)
Best Man	Before and during; reception	See the table above
Maid of Honor	Preparations and all day	See the table above
Candle Sponsors	Candle rite, if included	Light the two candles that "the bride and groom will later use … to light the Unity Candle together" (N)
Veil Sponsors	Veil rite, if included	"Drape a veil over the bride's head and pin it to the shoulder of the groom" (N); remove it after the cord (B&B)
Cord Sponsors	Cord rite, if included	Loop a silk cord into a figure eight over the couple's shoulders (N); "remove it after Communion" (B&B)
Groomsmen	Before and during the processional	Support the groom, usher guests, and escort the bridesmaids and parents down the aisle (N)
Bridesmaids	Before and during	Usher guests, hand out favors, assist the bride toward the altar, and help with planning (N)
Ring Bearer	Processional	Carries the rings on a pillow. "Dummy rings are used to avoid losing the actual rings" (N); the real ones stay with the best man
Coin Bearer	Processional; coin rite	Carries the coins used in the coin rite (13, per N), a ceremonial item, not money collected from anyone
Bible Bearer	Processional	Carries the Bible used in the ceremony (N)
Flower Girls	Processional	Scatter petals down the aisle to prepare it for the bride's entrance (N)

Two counts worth planning around: at least two principal sponsors, and, if every rite gets its own pair, at least six secondary sponsors (N). B&B suggests secondary sponsor as the lighter commitment: "If you have close friends who are too busy to be either a bridesmaid or groomsman, then you can entrust them the role of secondary sponsor." A smaller wedding with fewer names is not missing anything.

For the candle, veil and cord pairs in detail, see our secondary sponsors guide. For the three bearers, including ages, dummy rings and the meaning of the arrhae, see the bearers guide.

The part that varies, and who to ask

The veil and cord are where plans made from online reading get corrected at the rehearsal. In the Order of Celebrating Matrimony they are optional and their placement is not fixed: the blessing and placing of the lazo or veil "could also be done before the Lord's Prayer, or even earlier, according to local custom" (For Your Marriage). That source speaks to the veil and cord only. Whether a candle rite is included, and where, is another question for your parish.

The processional order is the same kind of question. Answering a reader's comment on the B&B post above, the site's editor says "there's no strict rule about the order. Best if you consult with your planner or if it's a drastic change, you can also ask the Church admin just to be sure." Treat any entrance order you find online, including one from a wedding you attended, as a draft until your coordinator confirms it.

Five things get settled with your parish or officiant, not a blog post:

1. Which of the veil, cord and candle rites are included, and at what point.
2. Who removes the veil and cord, if they are used: the pairs who placed them, or the coordinator.
3. Which sponsors sign the marriage certificate, and when.
4. Whether the parish caps principal sponsors, and whether extra pairs affect what you pay. The Manila Cathedral, for one, allows a maximum of eight pairs (FAQ).
5. The processional order, once your coordinator has it.

Write the answers into the program you hand your coordinator, and pass them to everyone with a job during the rites before the rehearsal, not at it.

What the couple has to supply

Nuptials.ph is blunt: "Contrary to the word 'sponsor' in their names, they will not be providing these materials, so don't forget to procure these during wedding preparations." That covers three items, and they are yours to buy:

Item	Used by
Candles (plus the unity candle, if you use one)	Candle Sponsors
Veil	Veil Sponsors
Cord	Cord Sponsors

Four more items appear in the processional, and none of the sources above settles who brings them. Put them on your list to confirm:

Item	Used by	Ask
Ring pillow	Ring Bearer	Whether your supplier includes one with the rings
Coins	Coin Bearer	Who buys them, and how many your parish expects
Bible	Bible Bearer	Whether the parish lends one
Basket and petals	Flower Girls	Whether your florist supplies them; Nuptials.ph notes some churches do not allow scattering petals

Our advice: ask your parish whether they lend the veil, cord or candles before you buy. Agree who pays for entourage outfits before you send anyone a motif color. Hand the veil pins to the veil sponsors directly rather than leaving them in the coordinator's kit.

Briefing your entourage without twenty separate chats

Everyone needs the same four facts, and almost nobody needs more:

What they need	Why
Call time and exact venue	Set it earlier than guest arrival, and add time for photos
Their role, named	People forget whether they are veil or cord
Attire and color	The question you will otherwise answer twenty times
Rehearsal date, and whether attendance is required	Anyone with a task during the rites should not skip it

Send it once to everyone, and again a week out. Our advice is to keep call times off the invitation, which carries the names and the honor.

The entourage list tool groups names the way they will appear on your invitation, and our guide to listing principal sponsors covers the section that causes the most reprints. The reception program timeline picks up where the ceremony ends. Settle the parish's answers early, buy the items nobody else will buy, and send one clear message to everyone with a job.